Post 2- Fear

Like most people in college I am afraid of life after graduation. I hate going home because that means constantly being asked by relatives, “what do you plan to do", "interesting can you get a job with that major”, etc.  In all honest I really don't know what life has in store for me after next fall. The only thing I am sure of is that it will be time for me to move on to the real world. I know that I'm not the only one with this issue. I also know theta other majors are having the same issue in the current job market. After reading some of the articles and hear other peoples personal accounts it really makes you wonder if it is all worth it. I ask myself constantly did I make the right decision when I switched majors. If I would have remained a Mechanical Engineer then I would probably have a better chance in finding a job out of college. These sort of doubts seem to constantly creep into my head as get closer to graduation. As I look around at my friends who did graduate in somewhat dominate fields most of them are still looking for a job. If they can graduate in engineering and nursing and not find a job then how much hope is there for me to find one?  This fear could be considered the driving force of my career. It is because of that fear that I try to do my best with the task that are giving to me. It does suck sometimes going to school then work only to come back and help work on a show tell 1am. However if you think about there is a good chance that is how the real world will turn out. If I don’t truly enjoy then why continue to do the work?

            Fear of survival is all a part of entering the real world. In all honesty if you aren’t scared or even a little nervous after gradation something is wrong. We are basically preparing to enter the union big world with a sheet of paper that is supposed to give us a better chance in life. I would be perfectly fine with having both a job and a career. I know that the road ahead isn’t going to be easy no matter with path I take that is why I’m glad both school and my family have somewhat prepared me for it. I have been able to acquire skills that would help me possible get a 9-5 at a company that can help support me, and possible a family, while doing theater or film on the side. Who knows after enough years in the industry I may be able to peruse a full time opportunity. The one thing I know for certain is that I enjoy what I do. Even once I become old and retire I can still see myself becoming involved with the industry. That is one thing that I admire about our field and that’s age is truly not a factor. This is my life and this was my major choice I look forward to seeing where it can take me. Of course I’m terrified but at the same time I can’t help but be excited. 

Post 1

Growing up I was never really taught exactly how to deal with anger. Being the oldest of four I was taught to be the mediator for my brothers. I was always a kind hearted child which led to issues. I was picked on constantly while growing up because of it. I was never really fought back I would just bottle up the anger and keep moving. This of course was not wise or healthy.  I bottled up the anger to the point that I couldn’t take it anymore and retaliated. Once those who bullied me tried to become physical I got physical too. After that moment I was no longer bullied but I didn’t like the feeling that I got after. I began to work on controlling my anger better. As I got older I began to see how much I was like the both of my parents, in regards to how I handle my anger. When my mother was angry she would lash out in a blind rage for long periods of time. Once she is upset it’s hard to get her to think about anything else.  My father however was the exact opposite of my mother. You could rarely ever tell when my father was upset. He would just go about his day as if nothing ever happened. If he were to ever get angry and lose his composure he would quickly snap out of it. At times it felt as if both of these tendencies are fighting for dominance. When I truly get upset I can lash out at those who hurt me but I always catch myself. It is hard for me to stay made for a long period of time because I feel that it is both pointless and a waste of time.  I try my best to remain neutral and aware of others feelings when I approach a situation.

Now as far as anger goes in theater I try to avoid it. Once I am in a professional setting I try my best to separate business from personal. It is important to remain professional even during tense moments. If I were to lose my cool on the job I could get fired or worse. Regardless of what may be going on personally or during a show it is important to stay on task and focus on getting the job done. In the real world there will always be those that critics   you and the work you do. The moment you give those that critics you a reaction we have either proved them right or given them the satisfaction of seeing you fall.  Anger in the work place can be your biggest down fall. If your know to lose you temper often while making a decision with your group then no one would wont to work with you. The ability to work well with others is one of the most important skills required for our field.  I personally have not encountered any moments while working a show that made me angry, sometimes annoyed but never angry. I have thou seen others respond in angry while making decisions on a production. I did my best to avoid involvement form the situation because this was supposed to be a professional setting and the cause of the anger was due to personal events. We must remember to express our anger in a constructive way whether in a professional or nonprofessional setting. It important not to bottle up your anger however don’t let your anger get you in trouble.