Shame

 

I agree with the quote, “Shame is a controlling device. Shaming someone is an attempt to prevent that person from behaving in a way that embarrasses us. Shame could be describe as that little voice in that back of our mind that tells us something may be deemed in appropriate. However this depends on the individual and the environment they are in. For example if I were in an Amish community I couldn't shame someone for not knowing how to use a cell phone. Since the Amish don't use technology then that would be considered the norm. Like most situations it is important that we keep an open mind. Just because I may be a little more reserved than some of my friends doesn’t mean I should feel ashamed or shame them for it. We each have our own individual personality which makes us who we are. However as I said earlier time and place also play a major factor.

A few weeks ago my service fraternity was holding an informational in coats hall. During this informational we were making mardi gras mask for the children at Our Lady of the Lake Hospital. One of our members decided she wanted to play music as we worked I told her it was find as long as it was appropriate. She loves all kinds of music but favors music that could be defined as ratchet music. The first song she played had a lot of cursing and unappropriated content. Even though some of the people there began to enjoy it and sing along, other began to look uncomfortable. I told that this music was unappropriated but she failed to see it that way and got mad. I realized that she truly didn't understand how the mood had changed because that’s just how she was. Instead of arguing with her I decided it would be best to show her what I meant. I decided to switch the Michael Jackson/Motown channel and everyone became happy. I showed her how now everyone was socializing and signing along. Shame can be used to teach someone a lesson they may not truly understand otherwise. The key is not to let the shame prevent them from moving forward. You’re shaming someone can quickly turn into guilt if you aren’t careful.

Guilt is the feeling of wrong doing to others. Making someone feel guilt is only slight different for shaming someone.  For example if someone in an Amish community were to be found playing video games they would feel guilty. They would feel guilty for forsaking the way of life they chose to uphold. You feel guilty whenever you make a promise you cannot keep. Unlike shame, which general comes for others, guilt comes from within  us.

 

Crazymaker's

      As Julia  Cameron said in the article dealing with crazy makers is a part of everyday life. Different carries have different forms of crazy makers. Since our carrier is one the deals with a high level of drama our crazymakers are a special breed. Thankfully I have not come across many while in this program. However I have come across a few while working different shows. A crazymaker can simple be described as a leech that feeds on drama. If you aren’t careful you can easily be pulled into the drama that has surrounded them. This is exactly what happened to me while working a show. I was helping hang lights in swine palace and one of the girls helping just seemed out of it. Since we were going to up there for a while focusing lights I asked what was wrong. She explained to me the situation which at the time didn’t really seem like an issue. I gave her some simple “pick me up” advice and she cheered up some. We were able to finish focusing and go separate ways. I didn’t think much of it until I overheard another group of girls talking about a very similar situation.  They saw me as I was approaching and got real quit and separated. I knew one of them so I approached her and she came at me kind of hostile explaining her situation.  Apparently it was believed that I was siding with the other girl about the issue. I tried to explain my side but of course it wasn’t heard. I still don’t understand what all really happened between them. I completely removed myself from the situation. This is another reason why I always walk around with my headphones on. It is hard to get mistakenly pulled into drama if you can’t over hear it.

     Now crazymaker’s in my personal life is another story. In the professional world it is somewhat easier to separate yourself from the drama because you must remain professional. However in the social world we may feel we have more of an obligation, depending on the person. If we have a friend who is unconsciously a crazymaker we may try to save them, which in most cases is impossible. A good number of people in my personal life are crazymakers especially girls. For a while it seemed that was all I attracted. I was told by my best friend that I am easy to talk to and a little too willing to listen which doesn’t help the situation at all. This trait has gotten pulled into much drama without me even trying. However I have been able to find ways out of each situation.  One trick I use is that I don’t approach the situation, if I know both parties, without hearing both sides voluntarily. Once I have heard both sides I have them talk face to face and serve as a mediator to make sure both sides are heard. If I don’t know the other party I simply convince my friend to move on and forget because the situations are normally minor. Crazymaker’s will only build drama if you allow them. The best thing to do is not show them attention and it will blow over even faster.

Post 3 - Criticism

When I think about something that was said to me by a critic there isn’t an exact moment that comes to mind. The most common criticism that I receive is the same that most of the people in our field receive. I am constantly told that my major is easy and that it is not a real major. I take great offense when I hear this about art majors or anyone who is not engineering, nursing, or law. Just because a major does not rely heavily on math or science doesn’t mean that it is easy. It really hurts when I’m told oh you don’t need to study for a test you have an easy major. All of these allegations we know are false. If I want to truly gain knowledge of the business then I must study. We take test to make sure we understand the basics of our field so that we may build on them. We work sometimes 40 or more hours a week just to earn 1 credit hour. We are all in college we may have different majors but we have the same struggle.  I say that constantly to non-majors even though it falls on to death ears. The important thing is that I don’t let this affect me. I must keep moving forward so that I must succeed.

If I were to give an incoming freshman advice about how to take criticism I don’t know what I would say. One thing I could try to get them to understand is that knowing how to deal with criticism will either make or break you in our field. Criticism can be both positive and negative depending on the person; it is your responsibility to be able to tell them apart. If you don’t know how to deal with both then it will be difficult to improve your skills to where they need to be in order to succeed. Dealing with criticism is simply a part of life no matter what field you decided to work in. If someone you trust tells you of ways you can improve your skills then listen with an open mind. Don’t take anything that critics may say to heart. The moment you take criticism personal is the moment you lose. If you cannot take criticism and learn from it then you will not go far. As I said earlier there are critics out there that want to see you fail. They may tell you things that they believe will harm your character. However even the biggest lies hold some truth. As I said earlier you must listen with an open mind.

            Once you learn to deal with criticism it is also important to be able to dish it out. If you see someone needs to improve then tell them. It is important to be honest even if it may hurt their feelings a little. It is important to get them to understand that you mean no harm, that you only wish to help them better themselves.  Choice your words carefully and make sure you don’t make things seem personal. It is important to remember that everyone deals with criticism differently. If you are willing to criticize someone then you must also be willing to help them better themselves.